NEW BLOG! Austin McFreehook: Diary of a mad lane man

by Jason Thomas December 30, 2009 06:30

December 30, 2009

People are askin' me all the time about why I put down challenging oil patterns with me lane machine. Ya know why? It's because I want to see bowlers give it their full bhoona. I don't like to reward people for poor shotmaking. Bowlers accustomed to easy shots and that don't have the skills a good bowler should have can be made to look like a bunch of haddies.

Let's take the Scorpion Championship and Chameleon Championship as an example. On the telly it surely looks like those gents should have eaten their Wheaties, because from those two TV shows only came three 200 games TOTAL. And two of those came from the lasses! People were on the PBA Message Boards (www.pbaforum.com) and had their haw maws all in a twist about the low scores. Those folks didn't focus on the fact the two gents who won, Mike Devaney and Bill O'Neill, bowled the smartest. They made good quality shots, they played the lanes to stay out of trouble, made their spares, and took advantage of mistakes the other bowlers made. Those tough lanes also kept that pesky Rob Stone from using that blasted "hambone" phrase...aye! that makes me want to leave a big puddle of hilda on his lap!

All I'm trying to say as a laneman is that the brammers on the exempt tour are the best in the world, and they don't need any help knocking down pins. Whether they average 260 or 160, whoever bowls the best that day will normally prevail.

Austin McFreehook is an ex-golf course superintendent who was kicked out of the R&A for getting into a heated public dispute with Jack Nicklaus over the proper way to drop your golf ball after hitting into a hazard. He's now a lane man with the single-minded goal of upholding the purity of the sport of bowling.


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Permalink | Comments (11)

Comments

12/27/2009 11:34:47 PM #




I agree, as tough lane conditions call for shot making. Not missing 5 boards to the right and still getting a strike. Let's make those spares too !!!

Chuck

12/29/2009 2:58:53 AM #

I don't really know what has happend to this sport.  When I started bowling they did the lanes with a bug sprayer.  The bottom line is it is you against someone else.  The better player or the luckier person wins.  I think people these days are happy if they lose 280 to 290.  A loss is a loss.  I don't get it I guess.  Bowling balls the days should be called bowling engines.  Bowling has almost become a vidio game.  Such a shame!

Mike

12/30/2009 1:30:52 AM #

You must get control of these Balls before anything can be done about the lane conditions. The BOWLING BALL is running the show now!!

Mike

12/30/2009 2:06:30 PM #

I must be far to serious a person to see the humor in this blog, this is a joke, right?

Ed

1/2/2010 3:19:10 PM #

Before 1983 I never heard a complain about oil pattern, bad results... bowler took the guilt (as it should be). I don't hear billiard players blaming the balls, the stick or the table.

Roberto De la Peña

1/3/2010 12:23:30 AM #

I think it is great that somebody wants to make people actually bowl!!! I hate the house shot not because I suck on it but because it s simply too easy. it also gives you the wrong impression that your really a great bowler becasue it is tooooooooo much room for error!!!! i am from chicago, Il and from the south side the inner city NOT THE BURBS!!! in the inner city nobody I mean nobody wants to do anything with or even get to know about the sport patterns and or pba patterns! yet they always want the highschool kids to apply for college scholarships! rude awakening if you never seen a pattern a real one that is you will likely to fold when you get to the college scenery!! I know from experience!!!! we supposedly have all these great coaches in our city but not one has been getting any real shots put out. In order to get some real coaching and preparation you would have to go to the burbs. for many kids who parents can not travel that far or have no way out there are just being left behind!!!! So I think somebody in the inner city of chicago should take charge and bring real bowlers back to our once bowling dynasty city!!!!!

Quentin Batteast

1/5/2010 1:38:21 AM #

As an ex-lanesman myself, I used to move the schemns around on the oil machine just to piss off the high performance leagues.  Who knows, I may have invented the Scorpian pattern without knowing it !!

Laidbackhills

1/5/2010 4:07:51 AM #

I think that great.  Give people a good challenge.  Bowling is too casual today.  Some bowling teams refer to themselves as drinking leagues who bowl.  I'd love to take a shot on your lanes!

Bowling Tips

1/6/2010 5:03:32 AM #

For anyone who has posted something concerning how this sport has become rediculous, you guys needed to think twice about saying that. To the person who said bowling balls are "bowling engines" , of course bowling balls are stronger today. Yet, this does not make the sport EASIER. This actually makes the sport harder because sure now you can swing it right on a flat pattern and it will make a harder flip and try to make more of a comeback to the pocket. But guess what, what about missing left? You have less room. If you are content with throwing brooklyns all day long, that's your problem. This is why Brunswick is going to be an absolutely huge company in the upcoming seasons because those balls have tame reactions due to the symmetrical cores, and that's what bowlers need. Its not the day in age anymore where everyone just moves left with every transition and just hooks it more. Now a days, you can move anywhere you need to and change roll or hand to dictate where the ball will go. Duh. Just because bowling balls are becoming stronger, doesn't mean the bowler themselves has to be less of an athlete in the sense of adjusting themselves before they change balls.

Pat

1/7/2010 5:17:06 PM #

I like the new blog!!!!!!! We need more people trying to even everything out....
P.S. Don't let Jack N. push you around ever!!!!!

Pro Rob 300

1/9/2010 5:01:55 AM #

I agree with Mike that the bowling balls are running the show now. Many years ago, when you had to average 210 to have a chance to be a PBA'er, it was fun watching someone take a "normal"oil pattern and sometimes struggle, sometimes eat it up. It showed you what he best can do compared to you.
I really didn't like the transition to such hard patterns whee I'm watching washouts and splits show up regularly. I can go to my league to see that all night long! lol

Fedflinstone

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