Professional Bowlers Association

Andrew Cain compiled a weekly blog during his 5-week stay in Detroit for the World Series of Bowling. Here is the complete archive of his interesting journey:

ANDREW'S ANGLE: WSOB Prologue - 8/7/2009

ANDREW'S ANGLE: Missed Cuts and 7-lb Cakes - 8/13/2009

ANDREW'S ANGLE: The Hardest Part - 8/21/2009

ANDREW'S ANGLE: Over the Hump - 8/27/2009

ANDREW'S ANGLE: Pitstop, The Pete - 9/6/2009

Also, don't miss Xtra Frame's WSOB Feature on Andrew and his roomates Michael Haugen Jr., Stuart Williams, Martin Larsen, Paul Moor and "Ralphie". It's kind of like MTV's Real World, except with bowlers. Click here to subscribe to Xtra Frame and watch today!

Just as I took the throne as the reigning King of Chestnut (see my previous Angles for details on this …) following the Scorpion Championship, I was met with a mass exodus from our house instead of fanfare.

On Monday, Paul Moor headed back over the pond to the cloudy skies of England.  My wife, Jen, and my friend, Tina Stickney, bolted back to the warm confines of Phoenix on Tuesday.  By Wednesday, the house on Chestnut was whittled down to three people and a vacant bedroom.  Empty nest syndrome briefly set in, but was quickly alleviated by the incessant banter that ensued between Stu, Mike, and me – the three people whose secondary goal in life is to always get in the last word.  The first goal?  To constantly be right (even though any of us rarely are it’s always fun to try).

Now that I’ve digressed and thrown my roommates under the bus, let’s return to the action.  With the departure of our friends and loved ones, we gained an extra room, which we promptly filled with one Martin Larsen.  Martin is Swedish and needed a place to stay.  We needed a Swede to add to our international diversity at the house.  It was a win-win.

As Martin and I did not make the cut for the Shark Championship, we promptly hit the road Thursday afternoon for a trip to Chicago and the Petersen Classic.  Leaving the nice weather in Detroit –the first time I have ever heard that phrase from anyone, visiting or local, without an expression of disbelief-- we launched headlong into the blasting rainstorm that covered Western Michigan and most of Chicago.  Having fresh tires is a blessing in a torrential downpour.  Forgetting to replace your wiper blades is not. 

During our 48 hour foray in the Windy City, we visited my friends, Robby and Mike.  They graciously let us stay in their respective homes, and we gladly invaded.  Despite coming for a tournament, it was nice getting to catch up with buddies I rarely get to see.  After picking up my other friend, Chris, at the airport, it was off to the suburbs for 8 games of circus bowling.  Side note:  If you ever park your car at Midway Airport, take great note of the “No Van or SUV Parking” signs posted randomly along the edge of the garage…they will ticket you, and you will not like it!

Why do I call the Petersen “circus bowling?”  Because it is the most unorthodox bowling experience anywhere on the planet and you will see things you never thought possible.  If you doubt that, ask anyone who has ever competed or even watched.  The Petersen is the ultimate test, not of bowling skill, but bowling strategy.  Here’s a short list of oddities you will witness at the “Pete”:

1)  Some lanes have oil. Some do not.  It may be applied front to back, or side to side.  They may even put it down with a mop and bucket.  It just depends on the day!

2)  There are no arrows on the lane.  “But I don’t use the arrows anyway!”  For the person who says that, don’t worry, you’re covered too.  There’s a wooden panel that obstructs your view of the back half of the lane.  However, you can look at the pretty pictures on the panel and even peruse the high game list while throwing a shot.

3)  You bowl 8 games across 8 pairs numbered 1-16.  Lanes 17 and 18 are located between lanes 8 and 9.  Why?  Not a clue!

4)  The ball will deflect out of the pocket into one of two gutters on a minimum of one occasion because heavy pins are often mixed in with standard pins.  Making matters worse is bowling on racks that are altered to make two pins occupy space on the deck designed for one.  Witnessing a 16-lb ball going 20+ mph make contact with the 1, 2, 4, and 7 pins is humorous.  Leaving the 5-9-10 as a result is not.

5)  A produce scale, a white grease stick, a grocery cart, a cowbell, and golden gates.  Your maximum of 2 bowling balls get weighed in on a produce scale (trust me, static weight is largely irrelevant here).  If they pass, your lane number is written on them in grease and tossed unceremoniously into a grocery cart, where they are delivered to your ball return.  At squad time, announcements are made, the cowbell is rung, and the golden gates are opened.  Marching through the gates is the final ritual before the 8 game challenge begins!

For me, this year’s Pete was not very lucrative or successful, but, as always, was a ton of fun and something I look forward to each year.  Even with a background in extremely difficult lanes in Europe, Martin was stunned by the bizarre contest, but held his own with a very respectable first-time score of 1472.  He snapped off my 1468 with clutch shots in the last game.  Strangely, I think we averaged higher than we did at the TQR for the Shark Championship!  Who says PBA patterns aren’t hard?

We safely returned to Chicago on Saturday afternoon, ready to begin the march into the World Championship.  The drive home was rather uneventful, but did take longer due to multiple run-ins with the Michigan state bird, er, construction barricades.  As you read this, the final stop of the WSOB will already be underway and nearly complete.  I will be back next week, however, to provide you with a final Angle to closeout the homestretch in Detroit and the journey back to Phoenix.  As always, thanks for reading and feel free to email me with comments to Andrew@andrewcainbowling.com!

While the World Series of Bowling motored on through the middle of August, it suddenly struck me that this wild ride was finally over the hump.  No, no camels here…just the halfway point.

Wow, halfway!   I can’t believe I’ve been in Detroit for nearly four weeks.  My conversion to a Detroiter feels nearly complete.  Pulling into my own driveway seems to be a fading memory.  Case in point:  I barely need GPS to navigate the streets and am so familiar with Thunderbowl that I could even join a league (or at least rent a locker).  I frequent Tim Horton’s for their chili and coffee.  I’ve visited “the Henry Ford” and cheered for the Tigers.  I think the resident greens fees at the Lakes of Taylor should apply to me.  I regularly shun Wal-Mart in favor of the 24-hour Meijer.  And, most importantly, I have learned to appreciate summers in something less than 100+ degrees and simply accept the need for vast quantities of insect repellant.

Despite all of these examples, I still miss being home, and can’t wait to head back west to my home and family.  But not until my work here is done.  Luckily, missing the cut in the first three TQRs was not the end of the world.  Scorpion and Shark still loomed in my future, and I started hump week by venturing up to the Turbo 2-N-1 Grips plant for some practice in their Turbo Tech training facility.  This was a productive afternoon, and not only was Dave Bernhardt kind enough to install Switch Grips in a couple of balls for me, but he also showed us (Stuart Williams joined me, and I really should start charging him for all the free press in my blog) the manufacturing process for grips (it’s not the GM assembly line, but it’s still pretty cool!). 

I normally don’t talk about meals, but that night was an exception.  Stu offered to buy me dinner at Leonardo’s, a local Italian joint, for driving up to Chesterfield.  Except that he only had $39 on him.  The bill was $45, and instead of making him throw in every last penny, I tried to simplify by having him put in $25 while I put in $20.  On the way home I jabbed him about how I ended up paying for my own dinner, to which he began protesting that he put in TWENTY-FIVE DOLLARS.  We had a laugh.  Then it hit me that my dinner was closer to $15, not the $20 I coughed up.  So not only did I not get the dinner I was offered, but I paid more than my share!  To his credit, he did buy me a future meal, but that may have cost him my vote for the Steve Nagy award… (just kidding)

The remainder of hump week got progressively better.  My wife, Jen, came in on Friday and after successfully cashing in a sweeper –yes, it actually wasn’t canceled (!) – we spent the night at O’Tee’s sports bar for a karaoke adventure.  I’m no American Idol wannabe, but I can do a mean rendition of Barenaked Ladies’ song, “One Week,” while Jen stole the show with Carly Simon’s “You’re So Vain.”  Clever readers may realize that “vain” rhymes with “Cain,” and Jen usually wastes no time ad-libbing my name into the end of the chorus.  She smirks, I shrink in my seat.  Everyone else laughs and points.  It’s nice to know she loves me.

Of course I mean that in the most sarcastic way, because only a devoted spouse would volunteer to sit through 14 games of TQR bowling the next morning.  I do really think my luck turned when Jen arrived, as I made the Scorpion cut Saturday morning.  One out of five (I debated as to whether that or “20%” sounded better when read aloud…conclusion? Neither!) isn’t great, but at least now I had a shot at the big game on Monday.

The Round of 72 had a different feel than all of the qualifying rounds last season.  I said it before, but there really is a different perspective when advancing through the TQR as opposed to being exempt and starting in the main field.  TQRs are like a 7-game sprint to the finish, and one major mistake can potentially cost you the whole tournament.  Regardless of the competition level being ratcheted up a few notches the next day, 14 games is more like a marathon during which pace is more important than big bursts of speed.  Scores were very low on Scorpion.  My +109 helped me finish in 16th place while the cut was a mere +14.  I made my spares, didn’t press for pins, and came away successful.

Matchplay is a far different animal all together…especially the best 4 of 7 formats.  Strategy becomes equally as important as quality of bowling, but the added dimension to the game makes it a lot of fun to play.  I had faced Sean Rash at the GoRVing Classic last March, and the Round of 28 was fated to be our follow-up meeting.  Our scores were so ugly that I would rather have you look them up on PBA.com than put them into print a second time.  I will say, however, that in four consecutive frames in game one, two for each of us, we left the Greek Church, the 3-7-9, the 3-4-6-7-9-10 (4 through the face), and the 2-10.  Enough said.

The match was won by Sean 4-1, as I didn’t break the lanes down properly and may have had a better chance to win by throwing overhand or through my legs.  The same Andrew that appeared in the TQR and Round of 72 did not show up Tuesday for matchplay.  If Sean and I were slated to give a spare-shooting clinic following our faceoff, they would’ve certainly slashed the price in half, or maybe even offered it for free.  The sounds of “whiff” and “thud” were far more prevalent than crashing pins.  I could go back and watch the instant replay on Xtra Frame, but like Andy Morton, I don’t get it for free either (Note to self:  email Andy, form coalition, plead for Xtra Frame access)!

My initial reaction to losing was obviously a little anger (ok, maaaybe more than a little) and some disappointment.  It’s hard to immediately look at my tournament as a success, but after some cooling down I realized that I had finally made some progress.  The hard work practicing during the two weeks of downtime paid off and I started to get back on track.  I was finally over the hump.

The days of the WSOB may be winding down, but the action is certainly not.  Well, that is, except for the sweepers.  With the super-duper World Championship – it is definitely “super” because men, women, and seniors are simultaneously competing – heading up the backstretch, there is time for one last push to end the month on a high note.  I would love nothing more than to finish big in a Major and begin the long trek home with an extra-large smile on my face.  Wait, where do I live again?

What’s the hardest part about being on Tour?  Take a guess before clicking the link and reading the answer.

Did you guess lane conditions?  Nope.  The competition?  Wrong again.  Mental grind?  Getting warmer.  The down time on Tour is arguably the single biggest challenge that players battle on a regular basis.  Luckily, the World Series of Bowling provides distinct advantages to anyone who is not fortunate enough to live nearby and can commute home during non-competition days.  Travel days during a standard Tour swing eat up some of the seemingly empty and endless days, but despite the lack of those days at the WSOB, it’s certainly convenient to not have to pack up a big suitcase every week and trek 500 miles to the next stop.  I have been in Detroit for almost 3 weeks (at what point do I start getting a resident’s discount??), and the stability of staying in one place, having a rental house (no hotel!), and commuting to the same bowling center has reduced the chaos and stress of constant travel.

I know, I know…I still haven’t explained much about the down time.  Well, let me illustrate the extreme example that I’ve experienced as a non-exempt player.  Last week I wrote about the vicious attacks I received from three of the animal lane patterns (for those who remember, thanks for the wishes…the flowers and cards weren’t necessary, but I’ve recovered nicely!).  Having missed the three cuts left me with approximately two weeks of down time in the Big D.  Hmmm…what to do?  There must be a million options, but I still have more TQRs coming up and can’t afford to entirely lose my focus on bowling, which is, after all, what I am here to do.  I thought I could stay sharp and maybe even make a little money by bowling in the planned sweepers.  Cancelled.  Both of them!  Back to the drawing board.

With no sweepers on deck, I was once again left with the dilemma of what to do with my time.  I can hear hundreds (I hope hundreds, but I honestly don’t know if 100 people even read my Angle) of voices saying, “Go practice instead!”  Well, practice is what I did.  I obviously needed it after missing so many cuts, and my bowling balls were thankful that they got to be more than just doorstops in the paddock.  I even drilled a new Brunswick Siege and CSystem 2.5 that have definitely replaced some of the aging, less effective balls in my arsenal.  Some guys on Tour will practice almost every waking moment that they aren’t in competition.  I’m not that guy.  A practice regimen is a lot like workout sessions; there is a threshold past which you can over-train and be less effective.  Disclaimer:  I am not advocating that people should abandon practice, just that when preparing to compete, you have to be in tune with your body and mindset to know what is required to win.  Balance is the key (*cough cough* cliché, I know)!

Ok, now that we’ve established that practicing is instrumental to a sound physical game, the right mindset is the key to true success.  You can work on this while bowling in or out of competition.  However, have you ever had days where the last thing on your mind was bowling?  It’s like sitting at work, at noon, on Friday, but your mind is already lounging by the pool on Saturday with the breeze blowing, cold beverage in hand.  This is why a wise man invented golf. 

I’m a horrible golfer.  Actually, what I do on the course probably doesn’t even qualify as “playing golf.”  I take that back…the first 6 holes, a conservative estimate, is playing golf, and the last 12 holes are often spent trying to figure out:   A) why I even went out in the first place, and B) why I didn’t buy a larger box of balls before heading out (bowling has an advantage here…the only way for me to lose a ball is if the mechanic steals it).  Regardless, being out in the sunshine with friends who are perfectly willing to laugh at you is strangely enjoyable and most definitely a great mental escape from the bowling center.  I often wonder why bowlers just can’t wait to get out and play golf after a long day, and if the same is true about golfers itching to go bowl after a round.  When we hit the west coast swing in January, there are usually more sets of golf clubs lining the player transport truck (the trailer that carries all our bowling balls from stop to stop) than bowling equipment.  Seem odd?  Just imagine Tiger Woods slinging his 2-ball tote over his shoulder while his chartered jet is being unloaded, and I think you’ll start to see what I’m getting at…

Other than golf and bowling, other ventures last week included some reading, writing Andrew’s Angle, and most importantly, watching my roommates bowl matchplay.  Oh, and two trips to Cold Stone (I ordered the Like It size, passed on the 30-cent upgrade option to Love It, and silently pondered who could possibly manage to climb the hilltop of ice cream known as “Gotta Have It”).  If you thought I was completely done with bowling for this week, think again.  This is a bowling blog after all, right?  As difficult as it is for bowlers to watch bowling, it’s quite entertaining to cheer on your friends and hope someone in the house has something to smile about and makes a little money.  In last week’s Cheetah and Viper Championships, we got our wish.  

First it was “King” Stuart Williams stopping a Finnish coup of his monarchy in the Cheetah round of 28 by willing Major Mika to miss a 10-pin, which would have sent the match into a battle royale game 7.  Entering the round of 16 against Rudy Revs, Stu unceremoniously dispatched the action-game master in 4 games.  The games were all fairly close, and thankfully none ended in a tie.  Unconfirmed reports stated that ties in this match wouldn’t be broken by a one-ball roll-off, but instead by bench-pressing Buicks until the loser fatigued (note to self:  send PBA Facebook message encouraging this to be the new tie-breaking method).  The round of 8 brought on Stevie Weber, and in a reversal of the traditional ending of most Weber v. Williams matches, Weber prevailed.

While that action gave me something fun to watch and helped Stu retain his title as “King of 25123 Chestnut,” a title our house bestows upon the top finishing player each tournament, the Viper Championship brought Michael Haugen to the forefront.  As if to simply one-up Stu on all accounts, Haugen first barged his way into the round of 16 with a bye earned in qualifying.  The round of 16 brought an extremely formidable opponent in Chris Barnes (arguably the best player overall on Tour, and if you doubt me, just ask one of his 97 sponsors why they pay him the big bucks!). Not to be deterred from his mission, Haugen decided to take the easy road and win 4-1.  I thoroughly enjoyed watching my friend come back from an unprecedented deficit to win the Tournament of Champions against Barnes, but it was less stressful to not need the defibrillator standing by to view this match.  To cap off his succession as the new King of 25123 Chestnut, Mike beat Jack Jurek in a battle of journeymen that was as professional and as sportsmanlike as they come.  As Mike J. Laneside would say, “Everyone bowls.  We bowl on ESPN.”  Well, when November rolls around, Mr. Haugen will be on ESPN too.  Did I mention he even bought a round of drinks (shhh, I actually ordered 2) and dinner that evening?  What a nice guy!

On that note, I think I’ve kept you reading long enough for this week’s edition of Andrew’s Angle.  Even though Jason “Uncensored” Thomas thinks my blogs are more entertaining when I don’t bowl terribly well, I’m going to embark on a mission to prove him wrong.  Next week I am devoting 100% of myself to both a strong bowling performance and some clever writing.  Now if I could just find some time to practice…

Last week I got bitten.  As if that weren’t nasty enough, over the short duration of last weekend, I managed to get confused, stung, and mauled.  Unfortunately none of this was courtesy of the palm-sized mosquitoes, although the ones around here seem particularly aggressive and travel in packs of four or five. 

Now, before anyone starts to worry that I decided to raid the cages at the Detroit Zoo, I’ll explain.  What attacked me weren’t animals, but the PBA lane patterns.  I came to Detroit ready to pounce on the Cheetah, find the Chameleon, and spear-gun the Shark (I know we haven’t bowled on “Shark” yet, but the 44-foot Motor City Open pattern resembled Jaws in my mind).  But what about Viper?  I went to see G.I. Joe last night, and let’s just say that the Joes had a much better method of dealing with the snakes than I did.

During the Motor City Open, what really cost me the chance at having a good tournament was making a few bad decisions on the squad in which I had to bowl on the fresh pattern.  I was on B squad, so I actually got to compete first on the “burn,” and then, as the squads were reversed that night for round two, I competed on the fresh.  As a lefty, bowling on the burn on Tour is typically more like survival and less like offense.  In any multi-squad, multi-qualifying block tournament, the fresh is generally a left-hander’s best opportunity to make a move up in the field.  Such was not the case for me at Taylor Lanes.  I finished round two respectably, but not enough to counteract the two bad games which plagued me out of the gate.  Round three was another step in the right direction.  However, I was already too far back from the matchplay or cash cut for it to matter.  I simply had to forget about the tournament and move on.

With no matchplay berths for either me or my roommates, some free time was in order.  I briefly mentioned in last week’s Angle that I was headed out to see the Tigers take on the Orioles Thursday afternoon.  Nothing beats cheap seats, a hot dog, and a day game.  It reminded me a lot of Ferris Bueller’s Day Off, but without the Ferrari or the shady parking attendant (I’m pretty confident the guy who sold us the curbside parking across from the stadium wasn’t itching to take my Highlander for a spin).  After the carnage ended, it was off to Costco so we could stock the house for the coming weeks. 

You may ask, “What could possibly be interesting about Costco?”  It’s not just the satisfying feeling you get by sampling seemingly endless free food, or purchasing everyday items in unimaginable quantities.  Sometimes the fun simply comes in taking someone there who has never been, and then seeing their jaw hit the floor as they gawk at the epitome of excess.  As Mike (Haugen) and I loaded the cart with necessities, Paul (Moor) and Stuart (Williams) wandered the aisles.  A few moments and one excited yelp later, Stuart proclaimed, “Drew, you have to come have a look at this…it’s a 7 pound cake!”  Seven pounds of pure chocolate and large enough that you didn’t know whether to try and eat it or tackle it.  Yikes.  Here’s how the rest of the conversation went:

Andrew:  “Yes Stu, I know.  I have a Costco near my house and I’ve seen it before.”

Stuart:  “But it’s a 7 pound cake!”

Andrew:  “Like I said, I know.  It’s normal.  They always have it.”

Stuart:  “But…it’s…7 pounds!  Who the h**l needs a 7 pound cake??”

You’ve got me there.  I was stumped.  Someone must need it, though I can’t imagine Costco needing to bake more than three per year to feed a small, starving country (FYI:  picture of cake not included due to a lack of wide angle lens on my cameraphone).  The massive jar of pickles and mattress-sized sacks of rice also produced shocking reactions, but the 7 pound cake…well, it took the cake!

Friday was filled with the first bowling action at Thunderbowl, and I took the lanes in the PBA Survivor Challenge and got my first look at the Cheetah.  My “survival” lasted all of three games, and afterward I took to the practice lanes to try and work on some issues I was having with angles and my overall feel.  Going into the Saturday morning TQR, I was uncomfortable from the first shot of practice.  Not good.  On the high-scoring Cheetah, there are two things you don’t ever want (aside from sub-par physical execution):  poor ball reaction, and to be behind the cut by a hundred pins in game 4 of 7 as the scoring pace approaches a 240 average.  I had both, and it was quite possibly the poorest performance I have ever experienced on this lane condition.  More practice ensued on Viper and Chameleon, with an emphasis on trying to execute well and devise a strategy to grind out on the anticipated low-scoring Sunday to come.

Sunday came, and Sunday went.  The scores were low in both TQRs, but mine were lower.  Viper was a complete nightmare, and I somehow managed to sneak a 250-game in between the slew of games I’d like to forget I ever bowled.  After some much needed encouragement (and screaming) during the lunch break, I returned mildly exhausted, albeit in a better frame of mind, for the Chameleon.  Conventional wisdom dictates that the chameleon is an expert at camouflage, and for two out of seven games, it lived up to its reputation.  It felt good to have a chance to make the cut in the final games, and even though I eventually slipped out of the running to make the 72-man field, I needed a solid last game to eke out a check.  Despite striking out in the tenth in game seven (which was about as relieving as nailing down a birdie after multiple consecutive bogeys), I had a sick feeling in the pit of my stomach that I missed by a few pins.  Hmm, at least my intuition is intact.  I missed by two measly pins.  Although it’s easy to look back and find those two pins somewhere in the block, I was satisfied knowing that I did all I could, when it counted, to put myself in the best position to have a chance.  I felt empty and helpless, but deep in my mind felt a twinge of happiness that I had come through at the end, in the clutch…regardless of the result.

With two weeks before the next TQR, I will be spending most of my time in Detroit exploring the city (and possibly venturing across the border into Canada), playing (translation:  hacking) golf, and of course, practicing and watching bowling.  I also hope to exhaust all of my box-office viewing options, because, seriously, when was the last time you could watch a first-run movie for five bucks?  Hint:  I probably wasn’t born yet.  Additionally, Jason Thomas provided me with a camcorder that I hope to start filming some short clips as a video addition to Andrew’s Angle in the coming weeks.  If you think it sounds dangerous that I’ve been armed with a camera, that’s because it is.  Thanks for reading, and until next week, keep your eyes and ears tuned to PBA.com and Xtra Frame for all the latest action!